4 Ways to Stop Negative Thinking Habits

We’ve all been there.  We get stuck on one negative comment made during a performance review at work, one negative comment on a Facebook post we shared or one negative comment about our appearance at a special event.  There may have been many good things said during your review, many positive comments on your post or many compliments are given of how beautiful you looked, but that one negative thing is all you can think about.  

The saying appears to be true: One bad apple spoils the whole barrel.

Why do we get stuck on the one negative thing? 

Because we were designed by our Creator to be “wired for love”.  This means anything that goes against love really stands out to us and gets our attention.  Negativity is not normal in the kingdom of God so it draws our attention and throws us off balance.

We should recognize the negative thing so we can deal with it, take authority over it, and bring love into it.  We are restorers by Christ’s nature. We are to process the negative and move on, but many of us have gotten stuck in it. 

So, here are 4 ways to get unstuck from your negative thinking habit:

1) Realize that every thought you have is a real substance in your brain.  I found this amazing when I first heard this. Each thought you have becomes a small structure in your brain taking up space.  A real physical change happens in your brain and if the thought is negative it causes neurochemical chaos.  

You get a slight dopamine rush when you think about something negative (your body’s way of trying to help) but you quickly experience a crash so you think on it again and your body supplies the dopamine to “help” and it quickly becomes an addictive bad habit.  

So, what you are thinking about is very important.  It really does matter. It is not harmless to think about negative things.

2) Make a conscious decision to become more aware of your thoughts.  I’m sure you can relate at some point in your life to driving home, pulling in your driveway and thinking, “Wow, I was so deep in thought that I really don’t even remember driving the last several blocks.  I was just going through the motions. I wonder if I stopped at the stop sign back there?”

Without being intentional, time just whizzes by and you had hundreds of thoughts.  You need to self-regulate your thoughts. You don’t have to entertain every thought that pops into your head!  2 Corinthians 10:5 "...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Several times a day, stop and analyze, “What am I thinking about right now?  Is it positive or negative? Is it a God thought?” A God thought is a thought that lines up with what the Bible says about us, about God and about how life can and should be now that we are in the kingdom.  Many of us wish we had more control in life. Well, here’s your chance. Take control of your thoughts. That is one thing you can gain more control over.

3) When a negative thought comes, instead of just pushing it away or just going with, redesign the thought.  You wouldn’t just go with the bad decorating designs of a house you are buying, you would redesign it or not buy it!  Well, don’t buy the lies the enemy is trying to sell you. Redesign your response to the perceived negative.

For example, if you find yourself thinking negatively about your husband leaving the lamp on next to his recliner EVERY DAY as well as the dirty tissue on the side table, redesign the thought to “I get to serve my husband in this way by turning off this light and throwing away his tissue.  Many widows right now are wishing they had the opportunity to throw out their husband’s tissue one more time.” You might even decide to make a game of it to see how many days in a row you can do this before he notices and says something. (Unless he thinks there are magic elves that pop out during the day and clean up after him, he’s bound to wonder where his tissues keep going!) This turns the negativity into a positive game to look forward to each day.  (If this example sounds a little specific like it must be from my real life - I can neither confirm nor deny that!😆 )

4) Do something positive.  When you feel yourself being negative, break the habit and the negativity’s hold on you by doing something for someone else.  Encourage someone, compliment them, help them. You’ll break the power of the negative cycle when you respond with positivity.

Don’t get discouraged.  It takes 21 days to build a new habit and 63 days to really solidify it.  It will be well worth the effort, as concentrating on the positive will give you a more consistent, satisfying peace inside of you versus the up and down chaos negativity brings.  

Recognize the negativity, analyze and reframe it, don’t absorb or internalize it and reach out to others.  You’ll soon be living light and free from the negativity!

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